Excuse The Length

The past week saw a few incidents which have led my obstinate brain to accept one oft-stated fact about myself.Lets recap,shall we?


Incident 1:
I get a twitchy phone call from Shyamang

Shyamang:Hey.Don't say anything.Listen.IIT tomorrow.Whatever you do,don't wish me luck.
Me*aghast*:Why?
Shyamang:Because your fantastic ability to jinx people by wishing them right before an exam is the stuff of legend.
Me*still aghast*:That's rubbish.Name an instance.
Shyamang:Ramaiah.
Me:Oh yeah.But that was a one-off.
Shyamang:Still,I don't want to risk anything.Just don't wish me any luck ok?
Me:Sure,man.If you feel that way.How's prep?
Shyamang:Not too shabby.I think a top 100 rank is on the cards.
Me:Sweet.I don't give a shit of course.
Shyamang:I know.Anyway,I have to take off.I have to practice transcendental meditation to keep a steady level of concentration tomorrow.That's how us prodigy types psyche ourselves up.
Me:And yet you put your faith in metaphysical stuff.
Shyamang:Sshhh don't go there man!Anyway,I don't have the time for this.Bye.
Me:Oh and Shyamang....
Shyamang:What?
Me:All the best!
Shyamang:*Indecipherable cursing*

Incident 2:
Sindhu's wedding reception.Most of the annoying guests have left and Sindhu,looking beautiful,is reassuring my mother that the US of A is not as big,bad and ugly as it is often portrayed to be.Apparently,I need a babysitter when I make the trip to tissue-paper land and Sindhu's volunteered.Nobody,as usual,bothers to ask me.My mother is looking convinced when my laughter interjects the conversation.Of course,I make no effort to conceal the mirth."You?Look after me?You do realise there's a higher chance of the reverse happening?"I turn to her parents."No worries,uncle.Nothing vile shall befall the newly-weds.They have my good wishes,after all."As if on cue,the groom chokes on his drink.Two minutes pass and he's still grappling with his surroundings.People around are assuring him that he's still alive.Amidst the pandemonium,I'm whisked away.People are staring and I fail to notice the dread in their eyes.

Incident 3:
I call Ganesh after his CBSE-PMT.
Me:So how was it?
Ganesh:I dunno man.I don't think I'll make the cut-off.
Me:*feigning surprise*Really?But you've cut down your sleeping time to fourteen hours a day,man.That should've left you with a little more time than usual to study.
Ganesh:Yeah,but still..
Me:Anyway,what's the cut-off?
Ganesh:180 I think.
Me:And you'll get...
Ganesh:130ish..
Me:Aah,well.Fifty marks are quite a lot in these competitive exams.
Ganesh:I know but the irony's killing me.
Me:What?
Ganesh:I'm getting 120-change in the Bio-section.
Me:*genuinely surprised*Are you out of your mind?You're getting a combined TEN marks in
the Physics and Chemistry sections?!They're the easiest of the lot,you dolt!
Ganesh:I took your advice.You told me to concentrate on Bio and screw the other two.
Me:*groaning*Newton's Fourth Law dude!Never take my advice!
Ganesh:Hey! Don't blame me,you're the only nerd in the gang.Who else can I turn to?
Me:Damn,this is MAD man!
Ganesh:I still think I could've done well.Only,I received your 'Besta Luck' message before
entering the hall.
Me:*slams receiver down*

And now,the icing on the cake.
To which team in the IPL did I famously pledge my support to? The Mumbai Indians.
And what's their situation like? One unfit captain.One banned captain.And one clueless captain.Not to mention four losses in a row.So what does my fiendish mind tell me to do on the eve of their match with the on-a-roll Knight Riders?

*That's easy.Oldest trick in the book.T-R-E-A-S-O-N*
And then?Surprise,Surprise.
*Curses!Must-not-lose-hope-now.I will continue to support the Knight Riders.*
The result is a thrashing at the hands of the Royals and an ugly spat between the two captains.

*Ok.Look closer to home.Yes,yes.Go Chargers!In fact,I think I'll go to the stadium right now!" Three hours of bumper to bumper traffic doesnt prevent a collective moan from resonating in the stadium as I reach it.Preity Zinta is prancing around like a three-year old.

So,minions.You shall of course be subject to me orders but me good wishes,anyone?;-p