The Definitive Period(or so we're told)

2011-02-14T13:41:00.002+05:30

Always on the verge of a masterpiece, never on completion.

A bottled release of recursion, alternating in polarity.

Misplaced beliefs.

Pretense.

Ennui.

2010-12-25T23:49:00.002+05:30

"I will catch up and catch you. I will temper you and sober you down. The trappings are in place and there is no escape. I will smile at your flawed determination. As you trip on your arrogance, and bloody your nose upon your proclivities, I will be patient. You never had a choice and never will. The template is waiting."

No.

2010-03-29T05:26:00.001+05:30

It came. It went. Fake shit.

2010-02-02T15:16:00.004+05:30

And so we meet again. And you've brought that charmer cousin along. How abso-spiffing-lutely delightful to see you two whores dangle those handcuffs in my face again. So what's it going to be then, this time around? A trick to lure me into those se(ce)rvices again? You do realise that the metamorphosis is complete. I am now a symbiont beyond dependence.

Anyway, I just looked at the title of this place and realised how it makes no sense whatsoever. As is obvious, coherence isn't one of the highlights of this blog. Neither is regularity. Nor purgation.

2009-07-22T03:29:00.002+05:30

The instancy of happiness can never be fully appreciated and is best left unmolested. A post-mortem is pointless unless you're an insecure prick like I am (or was perhaps, I'm insecure about that too). I am now willing to see beauty in the fleeting and in the transient, like Baudelaire once did. I have also realised that perspective is at once, an intensely personal and malleable thing. The peace that you get from your perspective depends on how well you've managed to blend it. Trying to find even a shimmer of eclat from it is suicidal. Shed the ego, find a soulmate.

The point of this rant is nothing really. I suddenly felt loved and decided to reciprocate. I am currently the happiest I have ever been.

Suprathik, Sauda, Sam, Sid, Surabhi, Nitin, Hups and Bansal. You guys are beautiful.

The Reason

2009-04-20T12:58:00.008+05:30

"If it doesn’t come bursting out of you in spite of everything,don’t do it.Unless it comes unasked out of your heart and your mind and your mouth and your gut,don’t do it. If you have to sit for hours staring at your computer screen or hunched over your typewriter searching for words, don’t do it. If you’re doing it for money or fame, don’t do it. If you’re doing it because you want women in your bed, don’t do it. If you have to sit there and rewrite it again and again, don’t do it. If it’s hard work just thinking about doing it, don’t do it. If you’re trying to write like somebody else, forget about it. If you have to wait for it to roar out of you, then wait patiently. If it never does roar out of you,do something else. If you first have to read it to your wife or your girlfriend or your boyfriend or your parents or to anybody at all,you’re not ready. Don’t be like so many writers, don’t be like so many thousands of people who call themselves writers,don’t be dull and boring and pretentious, don’t be consumed with self-love. The libraries of the world have yawned themselves to sleep over your kind. Don’t add to that. Don’t do it. Unless it comes out of your soul like a rocket, unless being still would drive you to madness or suicide or murder, don’t do it. Unless the sun inside you is burning your gut, don’t do it. When it is truly time, and if you have been chosen, it will do it by itself and it will keep on doing it until you die or it dies in you. There is no other way. And there never was."

Other News

I've concluded that Georgia Tech Housing is sewed with a fabric of pure, unadulterated evil.

"Shed the ego and find a soulmate, everybody else is just an acquaintance." True. But that doesn't necessarily imply that acquaintances must be treated on par with filth.

I guess I'm still in denial about certain personal traits, like the ones pertaining to global dictatorship.

And home in two weeks' time. Vada Pav. Misti Doi. Biriyani. This time, I will savour it.

Perhaps

2009-02-10T02:00:00.003+05:30

"Someday we'll find it. The Rainbow Connection. The Lovers. The Dreamers. And me"

The Story of December

2009-01-17T23:59:00.002+05:30

Love lost. Familiarity found. And hope regained.

Unconnected Brainstorming

2008-10-20T10:47:00.003+05:30

Excitement,it appears,is rarely pulsatory.

I'm unsure.

Is it just me, or am I hearing crass Telugu more frequently over here?

Gud-gud,ha ha,you're a gud-gud!

I need a messiah.

Actually,I'm sure.

Breaking the Ice

2008-09-30T04:02:00.004+05:30

The good part about studying in the US is that you get to dissect blogs like this and this as a part of rhetorical analysis in your English class. Unfortunately, that's the only good part.

Rithwick told me yesterday that he'd fucking cut off his dick to be on a plane back to Hyderabad.

Prateek was worried shit when the blasts happened in Delhi and I can still see the insecurity channeling his body language.

Ishaan wants to finish off his degree in two years and work overloads in summer. Just so that he can gang up with his crowd in Chennai.

Nitya's doesn't want to go back to Bombay because she's afraid she won't return.

Suprathik thinks next summer'll be as good as the one gone by.

One common thread of longing.One desperate hope that this place won't be too enticing.

I really hope I return.Soon.

2008-08-12T00:34:00.001+05:30

And we're off.

2008-07-13T00:43:00.002+05:30

Welcome to Georgia Tech Housing! Your room and roommate(s) information for Fall 2008 is listed below. This information is provided so you can contact one another and discuss what each of you will bring. If the roommate information does not contain an address, phone number or e-mail address that information is not available. In that case, you will need to wait to communicate with your roommate(s) until they contact you or until you arrive. Sometimes your room or roommate will change due to administrative reasons. If this occurs, your new information will be reflected below.
If you have a room change request or an even swap, please go to Room Change Request.
Freshman Experience East Buildings: Brown, Cloudman, Field, Glenn, Hanson, Hopkins, Matheson, Perry, Smith, Towers
Freshman Experience West Buildings: Armstrong, Caldwell, Fitten, Folk, Freeman, Hefner, Montag

Please read the fall 2008 move-in information, as this will answer many of your questions.

Room Assignment Caldwell CAL420
Room Phone # 206-1904

Notice the assigned room number.Coincidence? I think not.

I'm It

2008-06-30T00:41:00.002+05:30

Vasudha,in a gesture of unparalleled magnanimity,had tagged me a while ago.Considering the fact that such charitable endeavours are hard to come by,especially during the course of an extended-writer's block,I've decided to oblige.

1. What have you realised recently?
Eating 15 Hajmolas at one go=Quality time spent on the thunderbucket.

2. Have you given your first kiss away?
Not consciously atleast.It might've happened during one of my black-outs.

*Hails the Lizard King*

3. If you were to be stranded on a deserted island, who are the 11 blog buddies you would take?
I don't even have eleven blog buddies.But I guess I'll take the lot.

4. Where is the place that you want to go the most?
Mariana Trench.With a pressure guage and Nitish Reddy's head.Just to measure what it takes to penetrate that skull and get the message across.

5. If you can have 1 dream to come true, what would it be?
This is weird.Frickin' weird.But I've always wanted to do this.Read carefully,I want the dream to pan out exactly like this:
I want to be a hotshot cricketer,score a zillion runs and lead my team to the final of a hotshot tournament.And then,right before the final,I get injured.The whole country's worried.People walking on hot coals and performing sixteen-hour yajnas for my quick and magical recovery kinda stuff. Then,as I'm dramatically limping my way into the team bus(for moral support of course)amidst a sea of flashing bulbs,I want a hot reporter(read Lekha Washington) to come and ask,"Oooohh mmyyy,that looks baaddd....think you'll be able to play?"
And then I'll say,"Umm,I dunno Lekha.It looks like a grade-two hamstring tear.I'll miss the final but its a race against time for the first test at Lord's."

6. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after the rain?
I think I've seen one once.Before the rain,I think it was.

7. What are you afraid to lose the most now?
My school life I'd have to say.Its done and dusted but damn,do I miss it.And yes,I'm a sucker for nostalgic musings.

8. If you win $1 million, what would you do?
Bribe someone in the cabinet to bring down the voting age.And age-limits for most things actually-driving,drinking,consensual sex and the like.

9. If you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?
Not before I do a background check on her.I'm highly suspicious.Especially when it comes to stunningly beautiful and slightly insane girls(Only kind of chicks I'd love). ;-p

10.List out 3 good points about the person who tagged you.
Vasudha has a slight share of my insanity.A slightly bigger share of my ego.And a million times the share of my blog hits.

11. What are the requirements that you wish from your other half?
Picture an smarter version of Jessica Alba.

12. Which type of person do you hate the most?
Any person who has an unqualified/unjustified ego/pride.

13. What is the one thing you cannot live without?
Tandoori Chicken.

14. If you have faults, would you rather the people around you point out to you or would you rather they keep quiet?
They'd be hard-pressed to find any but if and when they do,yeah sure,point 'em out.Can't guarantee your physical well-being post the point-out though.

16. Are you a shopaholic or not?
Borderline.

17. Find a word to describe the person who tagged you.
Smart.

18. If you have a chance,which part of your character you would like to change?
My quick temper.

19. Whats the last shocking thing you've seen or heard?
The sights and sounds post the Hajmolas.

20. Would you rather have love but no money or money but no love?
But,but...Money=Love.*Grins*

I Tag: Mehernaz.Sushoban if he's not busy boring us with his Sri Chaitanya updates.And Ruhi- Welcome to the blogosphere baby!

Finally

2008-06-20T19:50:00.005+05:30

In a moment of impulsive madness,a dear friend of mine asked another dear friend,her hand in matrimony.The female brain,oblivious to the ingrained knuckle-headedness of its polar counterpart and its general reaction to alcohol,promptly classified the proposal as a slur on her delicateness and-woe betide me- a chance upon her vulnerability. A smack on the jaw throttled the beer out of his system,and him into his senses.Centered in the chaos,I twitched nervously.A cold sweat drenched down my spine and under the dim haze of the neon bulbs,in a bar christened after the Irish capital,realisation hit me like a cannon-ball.A day would come when I,hopefully in more sober circumstances,will have to embark on a similar mission.Being the man of action that I am,I pulled out a pen-my trusty TriMax-and began scribbling my epic ballad on some spare tissues.One that would hopefully leave me with a less gruesome state-of-affairs.Of course,my mental health at the time was not quite at its peak.

"Marry me no,please *Insert Girl's name,ending with an "ee" for rythm's sake*
For I am meant for thee,
Nope,not Marie or Carrie,
Thee!
Yes,yessireee!
Is that a furrowed brow I see?
No,I think not,so nothing to worry!
For you,cherie,
I will cross the seven seas
Just like the Owl and the Pussycat maybe,
And traverse the Pyrenees!
Of course,in the middle I might have to pee,
Then,I shall make use of a public lavatory!
After that I shall come and sweep you off your feet
And I hope,against hope,that you do indeed use veet!
We shall go and hide;hide between the trees,
Away,away from the police!
What is that? A 'beep-beep'?
Ah,daddy.
Tell him you are asleep and definitely not with me!
If he catches me,I shall simply plead
'Not guilty'!
Then we shall dine;dine at Mc D.
I will order you chicken;chicken with no cheese!
Jus' the way you like it-tender poultry!
And we shall wash it down with ice-cold ice tea!
Et puis,ma cherie,
Je vous fais une bise!
Je suis un peu retarde,non?Oui,oui,oui!
So finally,baby,will you marry me?
Please,please,please.Please,pretty please?!"

Doubly made sure that no girl ever comes within a radius of fifty kilometers?Check.
Made Milton,Keats and Wordsworth shudder in their graves?Check.
Lived up to usual standards of insanity?Check.

It might be a bit too premature,but I think its safe to declare.I'm back.

2008-06-11T20:39:00.002+05:30

In a desperate bid to prevent this blog from dying a slow,painful death-which I'm convinced it inevitably will-I've decided to post today,although my stone-cold creative block refuses to budge.Evidently,a five month pre-college break does NOT revitalize the senses and fill one's cranial reserves with a phantasmagoria of creative conceptions. Being an unadulterated sucker for indolence doesnt in any which way simplify matters.Genuine post coming up soon.

2008-05-13T21:40:00.002+05:30

The Devil's Workshop has been busy of late.Now technically,that's an oxymoron;atleast in the classical sense.But I'm working on something.Desert me not,minions!

Excuse The Length

2008-05-02T18:20:00.015+05:30

The past week saw a few incidents which have led my obstinate brain to accept one oft-stated fact about myself.Lets recap,shall we?

Incident 1:
I get a twitchy phone call from Shyamang

Shyamang:Hey.Don't say anything.Listen.IIT tomorrow.Whatever you do,don't wish me luck.
Me*aghast*:Why?
Shyamang:Because your fantastic ability to jinx people by wishing them right before an exam is the stuff of legend.
Me*still aghast*:That's rubbish.Name an instance.
Shyamang:Ramaiah.
Me:Oh yeah.But that was a one-off.
Shyamang:Still,I don't want to risk anything.Just don't wish me any luck ok?
Me:Sure,man.If you feel that way.How's prep?
Shyamang:Not too shabby.I think a top 100 rank is on the cards.
Me:Sweet.I don't give a shit of course.
Shyamang:I know.Anyway,I have to take off.I have to practice transcendental meditation to keep a steady level of concentration tomorrow.That's how us prodigy types psyche ourselves up.
Me:And yet you put your faith in metaphysical stuff.
Shyamang:Sshhh don't go there man!Anyway,I don't have the time for this.Bye.
Me:Oh and Shyamang....
Shyamang:What?
Me:All the best!
Shyamang:*Indecipherable cursing*

Incident 2:
Sindhu's wedding reception.Most of the annoying guests have left and Sindhu,looking beautiful,is reassuring my mother that the US of A is not as big,bad and ugly as it is often portrayed to be.Apparently,I need a babysitter when I make the trip to tissue-paper land and Sindhu's volunteered.Nobody,as usual,bothers to ask me.My mother is looking convinced when my laughter interjects the conversation.Of course,I make no effort to conceal the mirth."You?Look after me?You do realise there's a higher chance of the reverse happening?"I turn to her parents."No worries,uncle.Nothing vile shall befall the newly-weds.They have my good wishes,after all."As if on cue,the groom chokes on his drink.Two minutes pass and he's still grappling with his surroundings.People around are assuring him that he's still alive.Amidst the pandemonium,I'm whisked away.People are staring and I fail to notice the dread in their eyes.

Incident 3:
I call Ganesh after his CBSE-PMT.
Me:So how was it?
Ganesh:I dunno man.I don't think I'll make the cut-off.
Me:*feigning surprise*Really?But you've cut down your sleeping time to fourteen hours a day,man.That should've left you with a little more time than usual to study.
Ganesh:Yeah,but still..
Me:Anyway,what's the cut-off?
Ganesh:180 I think.
Me:And you'll get...
Ganesh:130ish..
Me:Aah,well.Fifty marks are quite a lot in these competitive exams.
Ganesh:I know but the irony's killing me.
Me:What?
Ganesh:I'm getting 120-change in the Bio-section.
Me:*genuinely surprised*Are you out of your mind?You're getting a combined TEN marks in
the Physics and Chemistry sections?!They're the easiest of the lot,you dolt!
Ganesh:I took your advice.You told me to concentrate on Bio and screw the other two.
Me:*groaning*Newton's Fourth Law dude!Never take my advice!
Ganesh:Hey! Don't blame me,you're the only nerd in the gang.Who else can I turn to?
Me:Damn,this is MAD man!
Ganesh:I still think I could've done well.Only,I received your 'Besta Luck' message before
entering the hall.
Me:*slams receiver down*

And now,the icing on the cake.
To which team in the IPL did I famously pledge my support to? The Mumbai Indians.
And what's their situation like? One unfit captain.One banned captain.And one clueless captain.Not to mention four losses in a row.So what does my fiendish mind tell me to do on the eve of their match with the on-a-roll Knight Riders?

*That's easy.Oldest trick in the book.T-R-E-A-S-O-N*
And then?Surprise,Surprise.
*Curses!Must-not-lose-hope-now.I will continue to support the Knight Riders.*
The result is a thrashing at the hands of the Royals and an ugly spat between the two captains.

*Ok.Look closer to home.Yes,yes.Go Chargers!In fact,I think I'll go to the stadium right now!" Three hours of bumper to bumper traffic doesnt prevent a collective moan from resonating in the stadium as I reach it.Preity Zinta is prancing around like a three-year old.

So,minions.You shall of course be subject to me orders but me good wishes,anyone?;-p

Lesson For The Day

2008-04-26T20:12:00.005+05:30

Showing an optimum amount of courtesy to people,in an everyday situation,shockingly increases the chances of them co-operating with you.

Update 30/4/2008:
Rule not applicable in Hyderabad.Curse,swear,abuse,insult,blaspheme.And in extreme cases-punch,bite and lacerate if the need arises.

Plagiarist's Pride

2008-04-19T20:48:00.004+05:30

Never before has the time been more apt or the moment more suited to indulge oneself in plagiarism.Rakesh Roshan was pulled down by an ad-jingle composer because he was blatant enough to produce an illicit version of his Sony-Ericsson jingle.Hollywood movies are shamelessly being remade into utterly shameful Bollywood versions.And people,as usual,are failing spectacularly in their puerile attempts to ape me.In these dark times,you need your saviour to be amongst the masses;empathise and follow the tide.Hence,I have considered it slightly above my dignity to copy the flavour of the season.Lesser mortals have complained of a dramatic dip in inspiration levels,but my plagiarised endeavours are only attempts at blending with the masses.

So what the hell am I ranting about? Vasudha,in her blog,explains this game rather lucidly.Essentially,you've got to put your I-Pod in shuffle mode and answer a set of pre-ordered questions with the name of each succeeding song.This was the result.

"If someone says,'Is this okay?',you say?"
Beautiful Day by U2
Okay-Say-Day.Always did have a fetish for the rhymes,no matter how little they add to overall sanity or sense of the sentence.

"What would best describe your personality?"
No Quarter by Led Zeppelin
Quarter?You're not even getting a dime buddy!And pay for that cola. Strangely,people have been referring to me as kanjoos-makki choos since the tender age of five.Why,I'll never know.

"What do you like in a guy/girl?"
Warlocks by the Red Hot Chili Peppers
I like it when people show traits which loosely resemble the occult.Then,I get to set them on fire.

"How do you fell today?"
Ob-la-di,Ob-la-da by The Beatles
Absolutely.I'm in the mood for plagiarism and so were Nadeem-Shravan when they infused this classic Beatles line into one of their songs from Pardes.(Remember a scrawny SRK belting out "Ob-la-di-di-di,Ob-la-da-da-da,Ob-la-do-do-do,what to doooooo?"?)

"What is your life's purpose?"
Luka Chuppi from Rang De Basanti
You don't want to play with me.I'm highly competitive.

"What is your motto?"
Pride by U2
Either you have it or you don't.

"What do your friends think of you?"
Brainstorm by the Arctic Monkeys
Given my fantastic telepathic super-powers,naturally.

"What do you think of your parents?"
When You Were Young by The Killers
They were less worried back then.

"What do you think about very often?"
When The Tigers Broke Free by Pink Floyd
I wait,in anguish,for history to repeat itself.(This is one of those WTF answers.)

"What is 2+2?"
Do Aur Do Paanch from The Bluffmaster Soundtrack
I swear,I'm not making any of this up.

"What do you think of your best friend?"
Twentieth Century Fox by The Doors
Well,she was born in the 20th century.Not much of a fox though.

"What do you think about the person you like?"
Soruthidu Maniya Maligi by the Raghu Dixit Project
I'm so head-over-heels in love with her that I magically start speaking in 19th century Kannada whenever the thought of her occurs.

"What is your life story?"
Helter Skelter by The Beatles
Couldn't have phrased it better myself.

"What do you think when you see the person you like?"
The Sounds Of Silence by Simon And Garfunkel
Followed by sporadic mutterings of 19th century Kannada.

"What do your parents think of you?"
Rockstar by Nickelback
Self-explanatory.

"What will you dance to at your wedding?"
Are We The Waiting by Greenday
Especially if there's a sizable time left for dinner.

"What will they play at your funeral?"
Under The Bridge by the Red Hot Chili Peppers
They build a bridge in my honour?And bury me underneath?Cool.

"What is your hobby/interest?"
Give Me Novocaine by Greenday
It's more than a hobby actually,considering the fact that I'm in perpetual pain.

"What is your biggest secret?"
If by the Red Hot Chili Peppers
If I had one,that is.

"What do you think of your friends?"
The Bends by Radiohead
Considering they're all bent in the head,yeah.

"What should you post this as?"
Rubber Soul by The Beatles
More like Free Spirit.But what the heck.

Now,your turn.

Read My Lips

2008-04-15T01:20:00.005+05:30

Now,I like to laugh.And when I say laugh,I mean the expulsion of vibrational mechanical energy so powerful,that it can result a mini-sonic boom in the ear of an unsuspecting bystander.But when the mouth-the organ extraordinaire of the human body-is plagued with a rather charming condition called Angular Cheilitis,the laughter can at once play Judas,and become an instrument capable of inflicting devastating anguish on the unprepared mind.Learn the hard way,I did.

"But Kishore..."you interject,"chapped lips in mid-April,in the southern part of India?Is such a thing possible?"

Why,apparently yes.

2008-04-10T20:19:00.004+05:30

Carnegie Mellon called.I'm in.Hardly matters now,though.I'm still furious over the little scam all these jokers have pulled off this year.Again,I fall victim to a decripitating economy.

2008-04-08T22:43:00.004+05:30

It might just be.

Random Musings

2008-04-01T19:12:00.007+05:30

Having left my faithful minions alone;trapped in their bleak,sombre,largely disillusioned existence for a good stretch of time now;I've decided to dissipate bits of my divine wisdom for their recuperation in the form of chronicles of daily happenings in my life.Of course,there's a high chance that my rather gallant endeavour may have a reverse-effect of sorts and leave them in a state of high blood pressure,nervous tension and acute misanthropy.Consider this a disclaimer.

I can officially stop worrying about my future now.I've got offers from three thodu colleges in the States-Embry Riddle Aeronautical University,who've been kind enough to offer me an annual scholarship of 10K USD,Georgia Tech and Purdue University.Personally,I'm excited about Georgia Tech.It has the largest Engineering campus in the US and bits of the '96 Olympics were held there.Not to mention the fact that my father knows atleast seven different people who are associated with the university and who've promised to keep an eye on me if I decide to come.There're still a few more decisions to look forward to and there's the JEE.Do I want to write it? I don't know. How will I fare? I don't know. Is it worth the six hours of lead-crunching-on-paper-ordeal? Dude,I really don't know man.Technically speaking,the IIT's are a joke compared to the above universities,but there's still the lure of diwali and cricket.

I can now start worrying about things I've missed out on during my sabbatical of sorts.Tennis-I'll be re-starting my career the moment I get out of the JEE exam hall.And I think I can somehow use my coaxing skills to good effect and get a wildcard for the French Open.Reading-I am absolutely going to gorge on Khaled Hosseini,Charles Dickens,Douglas Adams,Anita Desai,VS Naipaul and a myriad other authors whose works I've resisted these two years by reaching for every bit of abstinence within me.Partying-As if to compensate for things,Suprathik's planned this huge bash on the 15th;the details of which are still shrouded in mystery but Dhruv was mentioning water-sports and vodka.

I am completely psyched about the IPL! After a series of contemplations which involved taking into account moral,statistical and emotional reasons,I've decided that the honour of my allegiance and support shall be bestowed upon the Mumbai Indians.I mean,why not?Sure I was born in Calcutta,probably spent the best years of my life in Chennai and Hyderabad but I don't think I've ever felt so much at home at any place other than Bombay.No book I've read was as deliciously real as Maximum City or Shantaram.Besides,Sachin's playing for them.
Roadies fever has gripped the nation(If you haven't seen Cyrus Sahukar's hillarious take on its effects on the youth,you've seriously missed a fantastic piece of comedy.).Personally,I'm quite fond of the show.It's one programme that's not a rip-off of some American concept and it's genuinely entertaining.The Big Bang episode was phadu! Most of the country is in love with Vikrant and people on the Facebook Roadies community were unnecesarrily getting excited with wild,orgasmic gyrations.Guys were acting like thirteen-year old girls and the girls made complete bimbettes of themselves;doing nothing to further the argument of women having intellectual property(At this point,I'd like to point out that I am NOT,as a few blind girls have branded me,an MCP or a sexist.In fact,the more intelligent ones have accused me of being a feminist).Besides making a complete ass of himself on national television-which was quite entertaining-I don't think his presence served any purpose at all.I've never been a big fan of the guy.I hated his guts and his hyper-confidence and fell down laughing after seeing Vibhor's impersonation of him on the Voted-Out episode.I was hoping that Sneha would make a comeback.The guy was smart,manipulative and opportunistic and reminded me of myself.
People have been reacting very strangely to my zero-machine cut.Many,my brother for instance,were quick to point out that the look spectacularly complements the aura of insanity that generally surrounds me.Others have said that its the in-thing this season-Aamir Khan's done it,after all.Also,for some diabolical reason,they've started to refer to me as 'Raghu'.Apparently,the shaved head along with rectangular frames and a goatee make me resemble the maniacal,potty-mouthed judge from MTV.I'm beginning to see shards of truth to that theory.

2008-03-05T19:50:00.002+05:30

I have the power.

R.I.P.

2008-02-08T20:11:00.001+05:30

It was an honour.

2008-01-06T16:30:00.001+05:30

An alarming amount of people have submitted their annoyance at the fact that my annual 'best of' list won't be featured this year.Yes,the idea of dramatically scrapping something only a year old would seem imprudent to many.But given that I have had more meaningful things to do this year,I've just not been able to be a part of all the action.Hence,no 'best of' list this year.Deal with it.

MindFreak!

2007-10-30T23:32:00.002+05:30

Bhavjot blows the competition away!David Blaine and Criss Angel have officially been ousted!
His next act:Sawing Selvarani in half and saying,with a bemused expression on his face,"Were you asking for the trick?"

I Apologise

2007-09-14T20:01:00.001+05:30

Is it just me or has everyone made it their principle purpose in life to taunt the hell out of me?Not that I give a shit for what they have to say, but after a while,it does get annoying.

The time has now come to call on the great uniter of thoughts,of reason,of all things complex to seek divine wisdom on this matter.Yes,the very same entity who has pushed the limits of narcissism to hitherto unheard of levels:Me.

"The answer,child,is exceptionally simple.Repent."

That's it?WTF?That's it? That's all the great uniter has for me?He needs a thorough kick up his backside.But he's right though.Maybe the Law Of Averages will kick in and good vibes will come my way again.So,here goes.

To,
Prashanth Devakumar:For all the times I've ridiculed your three foot,nine-inch frame and called you "Shortstuff","Passport-size","Chutku","Hobbit" and the like;I apologise.

Emmanuel Issac:For the countless number of times I've referred to you as "Wormtail" and made you the subject of my wild Kennedy-impersonations;I apologise.

Viknesh Kumar:For pronouncing you insane,socially unfit and--if rumours are to be believed--driving you out of school,I apologise.

Anvesh S:For making you the butt(literally) of all fat and backside-related jokes,I apologise.

Shanturu:For making fun of your German accent and laughing hysterically,while pointing,at your Sears Towers-like eyebrows(Bhavjoth's fault man,he was making a face behind your back.),I apologise.

The students at Ramaiah:For declaring you a mutant variant of the human species,I apologise.

The countless other people who may have been subject to/victims of my snide remarks,my angry retorts and my crusade of sarcasm,I really do,apologise.

But for certain other people,(like Sindhu,Sushma and Nitish Reddy),you will continue to remain on my hunt-find-cruciate-lacerate list.To you,I merely offer a flip of the finger.

Remembering Diana

2007-08-31T20:11:00.002+05:30

A beauty with brains if I ever saw one.

The paucity of thy breed stings this ravaged heart!

Absolute Genius

2007-08-29T22:23:00.003+05:30

If ever there was a sign that the future of the human race was in dire jeopardy,here it is.

And then there were Seven

2007-07-30T13:08:00.002+05:30

Firstly,my apologies for the late post.My new study schedule is to
blame.Anyway,last Saturday saw an implosion of frenzied madness inside every human being on the planet(If you didn't feel it;you ain't human).Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows,the seventh installment in JK Rowling's insanely popular Harry Potter series was let loose upon the unsuspecting world.After months of debate,character analysis,shipping and betting,the world finally knows how it all ends.

I don't know how many people can relate to the series personally.A majority of them,I'm sure,cannot.I am,I believe,one of the privileged few who've had their lives so perfectly synchronised with the protagonists'.I remember sitting by the poolside at the Presidency Club,Chennai in the summer of 2001.I was taking swimming classes and owing to the fact that the entire population of the city of Chennai decided to enroll,my batch used to last a whole of twenty minutes.I needed a decent way to pass my time while I waited for my brother's batch to finish when I suddenly thought of visiting the club library.I picked up The Philosopher's Stone and there was no looking back.So what started off as a means of whiling away time devised by a bored eleven-year old became an obsession.And now,as a seventeen year old,I feel that the journey has been perfect.

It was unbelievable how the changes in my life were similar to Harry's.How I felt the exact same way about a girl in class as Harry does about Ginny in HBP.How I could relate to his anger on being treated unfairly,when I was denied one last year in Chennai.Add to this a dozen other instances-too personal to reveal obviously-and I was left with an extraordinary friend;one who dwelled in the realms of fantasy but could so brilliantly answer the calls of his counterparts in the real world.

Moving on,Deathly Hallows.What do I think of it?Beyond Brilliant.Maybe it was just a coincidence that I was listening to "Peace Frog" by The

Doors just before I got the book.My friend,this is one bloodstained piece of literature.Possibly the most fiendish book to hit stores since Mein Kampf.And I mean that in a thoroughly respectful way.And before you proceed any further,be warned that there are a few ultra-bad ass spoilers down below and it would be extremely moronic of you to continue reading if you're a Potterhead and still haven't finished the book.

The plot of the entire series amalgamates beautifully.The highlights of the book were a mix:some were pretty darn obvious while the others caught me completely unawares.RAB,yeah,knew it all along.And of course I had no doubt as to where Snape's loyalties lay.My favourite chapter of the book was in fact,"The Prince's Tale".I couldn't help but feel sorry for Snape.I would say that he's a mixture of Harry and Voldemort.He sort of sways between evidently dastardly acts and outright noble ones.Every Potter book has had some obscure event play vital to the entire plot.In this case,it's Grindelwald and his acquanitance with Dumbledore.The Deathly Hallows were a work of genius and none of us actually expected the whole "Hallows versus Horcruxes" interpretation of the prophecy.And the stunningly brilliant way in which JKR uses Lily Potter's protection to save Harry and re-emphasize the point that Voldemort does not indeed learn from his mistakes was fantastic.The deaths in the book were a bit alarming because of the sheer multitude.One highly unnecessary death was that of Fred Weasley.For what joy,Jo?Weren't the Weasley twins the supreme source of comedy in the entire series?Wouldn't it have been better to let them live and laugh their way into the sunset?Imagine what'll happen to the jokeshop now.

The loose ends were tied brilliantly and the little things like Neville's grandmother finally recognising him as a source of pride were brilliantly executed.All in all,one heck of a read.Not my favourite though.Half Blood Prince still tops my list.

2007-06-27T20:15:00.000+05:30

Okay,in all probability,this guy is bang-on about the outcome.Apply a Steven Levitt-type logic and you have a fairytale ending,my friend.But the description of the outcome is absolutely demented.What's the whole point in writing seven books on wizardry then?

One More Month

2007-06-22T20:45:00.000+05:30

As I begin to enter what will be the longest wait of my life;and experience the most impervious self-imposed exile from society;caused not by uncontrolled angst for humanity,but by the sheer weight of tensed anticipation;I can only wonder if masochism has become the order of the day for half the population of the world.

2007-06-14T23:59:00.000+05:30

Just when I'd almost concluded that brute capitalist force was the only way out;this happened.And suddenly,free market economy seems a whole lot more sensible;albeit tyre-screechingly slow.

2007-06-05T15:57:00.000+05:30

As the unmistakable stench of the Cooum wafted through my nostrils and as those salty liquid strands of sweat crawled down my back;I knew it.I had finally made it.My trip to Chennai this year was notable for two reasons.
1)My faith in the human race was once again restored after seeing normal,un-brainwashed people.

2)Being in an atmosphere full of happiness,laughter and positive energy,my brain got re-energised and two years' worth of negativity,situation-denial and low confidence was blasted into oblivion.

It was a refreshing change to see that happy,carefree look on everyone's face.It was impossible to even imagine that hungry,ambitious expression that people wear in Ramaiah.Add to that a few rounds of bowling,mocktails,Saravanna Bhavan dosas,Led Zeppellin on full volume,great friends and non-stop comedy;and you're left with paradise my friend.Even though I couldn't meet Shruti,Ruhi,Riju,Sourabh and Arjun;the fact that Bhavjoth added an infinite amount of jokes to his comedy arsenal and the fact that Ganesh showed up at the eleventh hour, unbathed for three days,more than made up for it.If this doesn't provide me with enough incentive to do well next year,nothing will.

Holy Crap

2007-05-29T23:06:00.000+05:30

If this year's CBSE results are anything to go by, today marks the day of arrival of an army of super-intelligent kids bent upon taking over the world and making it dance to their academically insane tunes.495?Somebody actually got 495?And there were a billion other 490+ scores.It's like my 474 from last year has no value now.Fuck,Shyamang's 487 has no value.

Actually,looking at the bigger picture,kids this year had it easy.What the hell can you expect when you add internal assesments in Social Science AND Maths and make a 60 mark Science paper?I wish we had these new innovative marking schemes when we took our CBSE's.Or maybe not.Come to think of it,by virtue of our bigger,badder(excuse the non-conformity of this word in Webster's) portion and marking scheme,our relatively lower marks have higher value after all!

Awesome-O

2007-05-27T00:49:00.001+05:30

Today has been one fricking awesome day.

If you were at the Go-Karting track at SnowWorld tonight and if you didn't know it was me behind the wheel AND if you noticed those breathtaking swerves at the chicanes,those brilliant overtaking maneuvers and the most sublime handling ever of a go-kart;you'd swear on your mother's grave that you saw Michael Schumacher in the flesh.

In other news,my dad ran into Rama Devi,my old Principal from Bhavan's,at a party tonight.Apparently,she's been searching frantically for a means to contact me for months on end now. I've been told that there's this multi-national,multi-cultural event that's going to be held in New York City this July and Rama Devi's in charge of selecting the representative from India.And she was very seriously considering me for the job.So when she asked my father,he said something about how busy I would be at that time with Ramaiah.BullCrap!If I'm getting a chance to represent my country at such a huge level and especially at this age;I'm grabbing the opportunity with both hands and my legs if the little spaces in between my toes could hold anything.My justification is that my participation in an event of this magnitude would absolutely sky-rocket my chances of getting into a top-ten US university;with me already having done pretty well on my first attempt at the SAT and with atleast two more attempts to look forward to in the coming months.Besides,this July is going to be Deathly Hallows month and nobody in their right state of head(even the geeks at Ramaiah) would be doing any studying at that time.And it's only going to last a week.Add to that a booming aviation industry and you're left with the sweetest possible situation,baby. Thankfully,my dad didn't completely rule out the possibility and told her that he'd get back to her after consulting me.

I scored a 2100 on my mock SAT today and I have a Chennai trip to look forward to in a few days' time.Things absolutely cannot get any better for me right now.My future looks more secure than it ever has,I've uncovered a hidden talent and in all probability I will be handed a huge responsibility in the coming days.So to sum up my day,I'd like to quote a famous ad-jingle:"Pa da pa pa pa....I'm Loving it!"

UPDATE(9/7/2007):My attempts at creating a global czardom have been foiled yet again.Apparently,Rama Devi didn't quite hear the bit about "me getting back to her".So Suprathik went;put on seven kilos and was treated to a screening of Brokeback Mountain on the plane returning home.So,no massive regrets there.

2007-05-24T17:45:00.000+05:30

"History only repeats itself for those who do not learn from it."

They've learnt well,these bastards.

I should've been born Italian.

Driving Lessons

2007-05-19T12:10:00.000+05:30

I took my first driving class today.Except for the electricity pole that I knocked down and as a consequence of which,an entire neighbourhood blacked-out;everything went Schumacher-like.

United We Stand

2007-05-14T13:28:00.000+05:30

In your face,Sreekar!

2007-05-13T20:50:00.000+05:30

Personification,in my humble opinion,has been the greatest weapon man has ever brought his fiendish mind to device.The simple reason being it gives you the best outlet to vent your feelings providing anonymity all the while.It's the next best thing to an all-out harangue;which is actually quite stupid.This post is a result of a little epiphany I just had.

"No matter how hard you try,how much you improve;I will always be better,stronger and more accomplished than you can ever hope to be,you fucker."

SBOA

2007-04-22T13:14:00.000+05:30

"Find me and follow me
through corridors, refectories and files.
You must follow, leave this academic factory."

And leave,I did.It's been two years.

My sense of nostalgia has never been more superfluous.

Korean Silk Worm Poupae

2007-04-21T22:52:00.000+05:30

I think it was Anthony Bourdain who once said,

"To enjoy the best meals in life,you should be open to the bad ones as well."

2007-04-10T20:16:00.000+05:30

My prolonged hiatus will continue to be prolonged.
Presenting 'Kishore's Super Theory on the Effects of Television and how they create fallacies in life':

Modern Science + John Logie Baird =Television=Complete annhilation of imaginative capability=Fewer ideas + Acute sense of paranoia and misanthropy = Hard support for sporadic posts = Even more sporadic dissemination of my divine wisdom=Lack of inspiration in an already uninspiring world=A pandemic in the form of clinical depression + Iran's defiance of the IAEA=Human Genocide

Picturise That.

P.S.:Ra's Al Ghul must be pleased.

Introspection

2007-03-29T01:07:00.000+05:30

Calm down my people! You there,burning the effigies;yeah you,stop that!

Its funny how our lives are so humongously affected by a bunch of pyjama-clad men playing a highly glamourised version of Gilli-Danda.
Its a sport for fuck's sake.Taxes, highly eccentric teachers,bosses,nagging girlfriends,a cash crunch,urban angst,exams and an unsatisfied hunger for sex are few of the many problems which an average Indian faces.Why complicate life with something as meaningless as cricket?If you still want a detailed analysis,here you go.

Face it:Our team sucked.What the hell is the whole point in experimenting so much if you dont pick the players around whom the experiments were conducted in the first place? I'm talking about Sreesanth,Suresh Raina,Dinesh Kaarthik and like.Besides,we got knocked out of the Champion's Trophy;at home, got clobbered by the Windies and the Aussies a few months before that and had our pants pulled down by South Africa in December.If you had half a brain,you'd realise then that this was a hopeless team.Sure we beat an experimental Windies side and a Vaas-less & Murali-less Lanka;but those were largely thanks to highly-doting Indian pitches.

Its not the team's fault;they knew they were below par.It was us.And our media.Ah,our fantastic little media.If I had a paise for every time I saw a World-Cup related advertisement or an "expert" cricket talk-show,Bill Gates would be crying at a distant second-place by now.The media somehow lulled the entire public into believing that this team could actually win;when lesser theatrics would've put the clearer picture into perspective.

If you're gnarling and still looking for a completely irrelevant,hunger-satisfying,insane explanation of our team's defeat,then blame it on Indira Priyadarshini Gandhi and Lasith Malinga.The former for being instrumental in the formation of Bangladesh and the latter for possesing the most hideous hairstyle in the history of human-kind;one which probably scared the hell out of the Indian batsman and one that might've induced hallucinations in the middle of the innings which could explain their shot-selection.

The Man Behind The Lyric

2007-03-23T00:45:00.003+05:30

"The end is never justified by the means.Follow the most vile,convoluted path known to reach your goal.Everything else is just a hindrance."

My friend Deepak Sridharan,who now goes by the name 'Dpac',once told me and my gang in Chennai this;or something to this effect.Despite our repeated assurances to him that hoping for a career in Gangsta-Rap,especially in a conservative-to-death city like Chennai,was just about the stupidest thing in the whole world;Dpac never wavered.He once told us that he was the best rapper in the Chennai Underground.Further enquiry told us that the 'Underground' consisted of three people:Dpac,an obscure Manipuri fellow who couldnt speak English and a mysterious 'Deepak S'.

But you've got to admire his tenacity.After yet another dip into my cerebral vortex,I have traced Dpac's roots.Like all genii,Dpac started rhyming completely obscure words at a very early age.I still remeber those little poems(Now,of course,they're known as 'lyrics')which he wrote in the 4th standard.Allow me to elucidate.Ladies and Gentlemen,what you're about to read are anecdotes from Dpac's first few attempts at song-writing .And I shall not be responsible for the significant drop in your IQ levels once you're done reading.Here goes.

Rant No.1:
Dum Maro,Dummm...
Stick a bubble gummm...
Right up through your bummm...
Gas won't come.
La La La
Gas won't come.

Rant No.2(based on Mr S.Peter,a carnatic music teacher in SBOA School and Junior College,Chennai):

One Meter Peter,
His height is one meter.
He drinks only water,
His favourite film is Harry Potter.

Rant No.3:(based on a Physical Education teacher in the aforementioned institution and by far the worst of the lot):

Manimaran,he's a cool guy,
He watches Baywatch,
Pamela Anderson and VIP.
But wears only
'VIP underwear aur banyan'.

If you're not already chewing on your own hand due to the utter disintegration of the mind,I'm pretty sure that you have already developed a phobia towards everything that rhymes or that which is even remotely associated with poetry.

Note to Self

2007-03-16T22:25:00.000+05:30

For the sake of clogged arteries,the poultry population and Indian sentiments in general,I should drastically bring down my consumption of anything related to KFC.

Of Iron Curtains,Massacres and Great Depressions

2007-03-05T23:48:00.000+05:30

A quick Wikipedia search tells me that the day I came into existence,i.e. today, has a pretty gruesome history attached to it.On this very day,Winston Churchill had famously used the phrase "Iron Curtain" to mention the division on Europe which started at the beginning of World War II and lasted till the end of the Cold War.The Great Depression caused all financial transactions to be closed on this very day in 1933.The Boston Massacre of 1770,which was the beginning of the American Revolution,started on the 5th of March.Julius Caesar himself met his death on the "Ides Of March".

I've decided to build an ideological base on which I can further build upon.Its important to form one at an early age so that as you grow older, the thought-process automatically becomes quicker by virtue of it having a reference base.And so,the day that marks the seventeenth year of my existence shall also be the very day of the birth of the thinker in me.With the utmost hope in my heart,I hope that this atleast wont morph into something as grotesque as the above events.

Amartya Sen,in his book, The Argumentative Indian,debates on wether Democracy is an accurate reflection of Public Reasoning.He writes,
"Balloting can be seen as only one of the ways-albeit a very important way-to make discussions effective,when the opportunity to vote is combined with the opportunity to speak and listen,without fear."
For me,the key word here is FEAR.Forget the rhetoric nonsense you hear everyday from the so-called reformists of this country.Forget the rubbish of the pro-Janta groups.There has not been a single intelligent person,in the past sixty years of this country's existence,who has had the guts to fairly represent the common man.The reasons are simple enough.A tarnished reputation,a tainted career and a life dogged by un-solicitated putrescence.Is the Truth really that hard to face?

Karla,the oh-so-enigmatic character from Gregory David Roberts' Shantaram,says during the course of the book,"Truth is a bully we all like to ignore".Now if you consider this statement and whole-heartedly agree with it,the answer will seem crystal clear,like it seemed to me.The thing with perspective is that it is completely bi-directional.You can ignore the bully and wait for him to tire out while you get pounded.Or you can sock him under the eye and hope that he gets taken aback and leaves;without the guarantee of him never returning to bully you again.However,if you can cleverly guage your situation,you can strike at him in a way which will not only get him off your back,but may also put him at your service in future.In the modern-day scenario,finding out his skeletons and then using it to your advantage is a perfectly ethical option .Blackmail to put it short.Thus,the entire perspective becomes tri-directional,merely through thought and assesment.

Time,space and society are relative.The latter atleast can be moulded into perfection by any individual who has the right ethics and a sense of courage.Anarchy for me,is the easy way out.Democracy deserves as many chances as it can get.

Damned Tonsilitis

2007-02-24T23:56:00.000+05:30

I want my Johnny Cash-voice back!

Heroes

2007-02-21T14:46:00.000+05:30

Everybody needs them.Especially if your social life is on the same lines as Argentina's economy and if you have Satan living in your house in the form a little brother.People who lift us from those perilious levels of lassitude;who breathe inspiration into worthless souls;people whose mere presence encapsulates an entire moment.I've narrowed down the list of people who,by virtue of becoming my hero/role-model,will have automatically been enlisted into the list of people with unbelievably good karma.

1)Rahul Dravid: Determination.Dedication.Discipline.As simple as that.

2)Sergio Aragones: Sarcasm on overdrive.Artistic wizard.Comic Genius.

3)Joanne Kathleen Rowling: She creates an alternate(and a whole lot
better) world for tube-addicted kids,gets four blockbuster movies
made on her books and becomes richer and more powerful than the
Queen of England.How astoundingly cool is that?

4)Sourav Ganguly: Mud slinging? He sure as hell showed them how
utterly pointless that is.

5)Dhirubhai Ambani:Watch Guru.You'll know why.

2007-02-06T19:58:00.000+05:30

I've been struck by the thunderbolt.Only lightning can save me now.

2007-02-04T22:16:00.000+05:30

Today I had the oiliest,sauciest and the most divine bowl of pasta ever.

Inked

2007-01-29T23:14:00.000+05:30

I'm ready for my cruiser now.

Why must comic strips impart SO much wisdom?

2007-01-27T18:13:00.000+05:30

Reasons

2007-01-23T21:17:00.000+05:30

Why can't Nitish Reddy be a sweet,caring,gentle boy? Why must he be the most hideous suck-up in the world? Why,despite my flickers of abuse and sadism towards him,must he constantly provoke and infuriate me;and take me one step closer to becoming a misanthrope?

The same reason why Pluto is chained to the barabaric confines of a kennel;while Goofy gets to play golf and drive Mickey's car.

2007-01-18T20:47:00.000+05:30

This world is too demanding.I am,but a neophyte.

(I)Phonetastic.

2007-01-10T20:16:00.000+05:30

Invidiousness

2007-01-08T21:21:00.000+05:30

It's an intriguing concept.

The Big,Big,Big post.

2006-12-31T11:15:00.000+05:30

After finally emerging from my dive into the swirling tub of my memories,I reckon its been an OK year.The reasons for my saying so are because of two reasons:
1)The deaths of Keerthana,Sharon and Ahmed;and the mysterious
circumstances surrounding their deaths.Although I didnt know
Ahmed;my heart goes out to his family and his soul shall see the fall of
Selvarani.

2)After ten years of consistently scoring above 95% in Social Studies and
despite finishing my paper forty-five minutes before time and double-
checking every single sentence;I managed a shocking 84% in my
boards.My overall percentage was an ok 92;but I still have sleepless
about it.How the mighty have fallen.

Now moving on to more cheery things,here are the top three funny moments of the year.Having not laughed or even smiled for nearly a year,my rusty jaw bones and cheek muscles took a pounding when I went to Chennai in early April.So the funnies of the year are:

3)Bhavjot:We were standing right outside 6 degree,having just watched Rang De Basanti,probably the only film we've ever watched without hooting,screaming and passing ridiculously funny comments.We were all silent when I asked Bhavjot what moral he had learnt."Kill your Prime Minister",came the pat reply.It was the DEFENCE minister dammit!

2)Two moments have tied for second place.Purely because of the contrasting circumstances in which they were set.

a)Sreekar:After nearly everybody agreed on the fact that he had lost his postion as King Clown to Bhavjot,the old master showed that he still had a bit left in him.It wont seem all that funny because you actually had to be there to witness it.But in a moment of brilliant comic timing and audacious sarcasm,Sreekar teased a guy who kept saying "Cottage Cheese wit Spinach Sauce" for "Palak Paneer",until he died.

b)Bhavjot: We were debating as to wether Deepak should've actually been in our year.He was born in '89 for fuck's sake.Somebody even suggested that he had failed a year. We were considering the possibility when Bhavjot,cleary irritated,got up and said,"It took Deepak five years to complete kindergarten.They didnt take him into 1st standard for the next two years because he was that bad and he did every year twice except seventh which took six years for him to complete.There.Happy now?Lets go play cricket."One of the few people who wasnt on the floor,howling with uncontrollable laughter,asked him,"And what about Amruth?"...."He's celebrating his 67th birthday tomorrow." Roll.Laugh.Howl.Repeat.

aaannndd the winner is....
1)Bhavjot(surprise,surprise):The staff at Planet Yumm had quite a fit after we left.Because food was sprayed in every possible direction;some of it from the table and some,forgive me for the seeming lack of consideration for other people's disgust towards anything salivatory,our mouths.The reason:Bhavjot told us how he had mocked a guy for an absymally stupid thing he had done during his boards.The guy,a senior of ours,who was crying for hours before the science exam because he hadnt prepared for Biology,came out whooping.When asked the reason for his delight,he replied that they hadnt asked a single question in Biology.Bhavjot,surprised,told him that it wasnt possible because CBSE allots 25 marks for Bio.But the guy insisted.When Bhavjot checked his paper,he felt the uncontrollable urge to laugh and hit him at the same time.The Bio-Section wasnt PRINTED.It was an error and all one had to do was ask for another question paper.And Einstein here, thought that the examiners had suddenly gathered their combined benovolence and showered it upon him.

Moving on,
Bravest thing I did this year: When,despite my overgorwn toe-nail eating into my flesh,I put up the greatest show of courage since William Wallace;by trekking through the Cardamom hills for a whole of 120 minutes.

Stupidest thing I did this year: Refer above.

"Where the hell have I seen you before?" moment of the year: When Vinod,Sreekar,Bhavjot,Ganesh,Pramod,Jeshanth and I went to watch GOAL! at Satyam.Right before us,sat Ruhi,Riju,Nanditha,some short chick I didnt know and Krithika,or whatever her name is now.

The most sickeningly disgusting and ignonomously half-hearted attempt at anything this year:Vinod's,when he tried to blog.Although my attempts to study for my JEE would compare.

Escapade of the year:Rohit Narayan,who,after getting caught TWICE during the board exams for cheating,managed to evade a 5-year ban and even won a smile from the invigilator.

Best Word I learnt this year: Gravitas.

Best Movie I've watched this year:Rang De Basanti

Best TV moment which I felt was genuinely funny: Venezuelan President, Hugo Chavez,standing on the UN podium where George Bush had just stood,and refering to him as "El-Diablo"; after which he took a sniff and said "Do I smell sulphur?"

So that was the year gone by.My short-terms goals for 2007 include getting my marks up at Ramaiah,clearing the SAT and reaching for the last strands of will and patience left in me,to cheer Team India for the World Cup.Atleast noone can say that I didnt try.

"I'm worst at what I do best;and for that, I feel blessed"

2006-12-28T00:55:00.000+05:30

I've just signed up at number2 for the infinite SAT practice tests that they offer.My percentile in my last test read thus:

Math: 95%(ahem...)
English: ->Grammar:72%
->Reading and Writing Skills:71%

WTF??

My assumption(which was calibrated from my father, who has carefully analysed the lyrics of Eminem,Tupac,50-Cent and the Black Eyed Peas) that America was a third-world nation when it came to the usage of the English language;has suffered a major setback.Out of a hundred students,there are more than thirty American kids who can use,write and speak the language better than I can.Had you shared this earth-shattering piece of information with me a month ago,I would've scoffed it off and verbally abused you;suggesting that I would have a cardiac arrest if there were actually 30 yankees out there who were better than me.Wow,when truth hits you,it hits you hard.

I have just finished reading "Shantaram" by Gregory David Roberts.This Aussie can write! And how.I remembered a scene where Johnny Cigar tells an astonished Lindsay about the origin of life on planet earth.Lin,just like me(although in a different sense),had taken Johnny's poverty to be an indication of his ignorance.When the nerds at Ramaiah beat me in every Sunday test,I asked myself,"Can they ever be as confident as I am in taking on the world?Will they ever realise the fact that they have virtually annihilated a good portion of their childhood by spending close to three years in a dingy,ramshackle room,taking lessons which were highly unecessary for their age?"
The answer was a positive,"No.No."This gave me solace whenever I screwed up a Sunday test.Perhaps I was using that as an excuse for my laziness;my reluctance to work hard.And when my father suggested SAT,I jumped on it for two reasons:
1)Many universities in America are light years ahead of the IIT's.
2)I assumed that SAT was a billion times easier to clear than the JEE.

The above percentiles in English have hurt me,and my view of things has now changed dramatically.Hyper-confidence,condescendence,procrastination and an ego the size of Jupiter are a few things which an average 16 year old should strongly not be having. Respect for fellow human beings,despite their alien nature,and appreciation of their talents will go a long way in helping you do some good karma.And careful observance of their work-ethic,using it to make yourself multi-talented and more disciplined, is a decent source of motivation.Nothing beats hours of sweat,toil and blood.

So now,since I am no longer the Wodehouse I once proclaimed myself to be,I shall finally open that KAPLAN material.I think I just found myself a New Year's Resolution.

2006-12-21T22:48:00.000+05:30

Jo, you're the sweetest thing on earth.

UPDATE(22/12/2006):For those of you who hadn't noticed, the title was released yesterday on the winter solstice. Recall in OOTP: "...at the solstice will come a new... and none will come after..." At the winter solstice, a new title will be revealed, but as this is the last book, no more will be released.Fuck Da Vinci,we have a new prankster-genius in town.

2006-12-12T11:42:00.000+05:30

It took a six-year old to convince me.

Going BONGkers!!

2006-12-01T20:29:00.000+05:30

The world of cricket has been buzzing;and me being its greatest follower should oblige and write something about it.

-->Sourav Ganguly is back.And the whole of Bengal is delusional with unsurpassed joy.So much
so that the West Bengal Assembly threw the party of a lifetime.

-->Mohammad Yousuf has broken two of Sir Vivian Richards' greatest records. 8 fuckin
centuries in one season.Now was'nt a certain Tendulkar tipped to break those records??

-->India are starting to play their first twenty20 game as I write this.Maybe the fast paced
game will finally get them acclamatised to the fast,bouncy pitches.Or the match could be
over in 3 and a half minutes,a few seconds shorter than the previous matches.

--> AND BREAKING NEWS: Navjot Singh Sidhu has been found guilty of culpible homicide.
If the judiciary believes in anything called human values,they'll acquit him and save the
prison inmates and guards from what could be ten years of non-stop motor-mouth thrash
talk.Do I hear the commentary team of WC-07 shouting out with glee?

And in other news,I think the guy sitting next to me in Ramaiah is insane.He kept muttering,
"Maa....Santoshi Maa" under his breath for a good portion of Partho's class.I thought he was just
over-devotional but he soon broke into "Rolling,Rolling" from Limpbizkit.Brrrrr.

And I'm working on a special New Year's blog.A list of the highs and lows from 2006.Watch this space.

Turbulent Weather

2006-11-27T22:04:00.000+05:30

Sometimes when it rains,it pours.

Finally,a peek.

2006-11-16T23:43:00.000+05:30

Oooohh yeah baby!!

2006-11-15T22:58:00.000+05:30

Finally, science that is dirty,dark and almost sinful. I like it.

Note: What the dickens did you expect??

Wake-Up Call...Are you listening,Raina,ol boy??

2006-11-04T08:40:00.000+05:30

I get an sms from Bhavjot at three in the morning reading thus--"Po da! Raina's playin fr himself...tht bastard doesnt deserve a plce in da side!".After using the choicest variety of swears,I reminded him that we both lived in the same blasted time-zone;and that discussing team-selection wasnt exactly an option then.Knowing fully well that there were approximately 14 seconds left before I went back to sleep,I thought of a subject to blog on.The following definitions were ready in my mind when I woke up.

Koti: Genius.With a dash of craziness.Not to be confused with any numeral or address.

Partho Syndrome: The state of the mind during which time seems to stop,the sandman seems
to have come early and there are bad jokes thrown around at random.

Alwal Reddy: A person who has never peed in his life.And looks on with utter shock and disbelief whenever someone drinks a glass of water or goes to the washroom.

Talking: An offence, for which the accused may be subjected to any form of punishment ranging
from suspension to near-death experiences.

Zero: The number of non-eccentric people at Ramaiah(myself included).

There's more from where that came from.Watch this space.

And I almost forgot...A very Happy 22nd Birthday to Soumya--Big Sis,IIT-ian and fish-tadka admirer.As the Irish say,"Have a GRRReat one ye merry grasshopper!!"

End Of An Era

2006-10-25T09:57:00.000+05:30

No more handling of chicanes at breathtaking speeds. No more bending of rules to prevent you from winning.No more crying drivers. Never again,shall the world be witness to the genius of Michael Schumacher.Its been an amazing ride,Michael.Thank You.

2006-10-22T13:20:00.000+05:30

Sorry for the late post. Shit like this happens when your mind is a swirling tub of emotions. And when those emotions range from low self-confidence-hyperactivity-frustration-excitement-a sudden increase in self-esteem and a surge in confidence which lead to unbelievably high marks in Ramaiah; there's a chance that you're left with little time for meaningless things like the internet.

I've also been pondering over the little things in life,to which most people turn a blind eye. Ever noticed the strap of your watch? How the little holes through which you push that needle steadily increase in number.And how suddenly, you're left with an impossible situation? I'm IN that situation right now. My wrist is exactly thick enough for the needle to push itself between the third and fourth hole. Either I risk the prevention of blood-flow to my wrist,effectively making my hand numb or risk drilling a hole into my fast-track.Life.How it screws.

In other news, the Indian media has finally gotten over its fascination for a supposedly existent creature called Brangelina. Leaving "meaningless" issues like poverty,hunger and corruption behond;our brave crusaders had their bodies bruised,their souls ravaged and their pride battered.And their reward was a fleeting glimpse of a cambodian kid with his caucasian parents,trottin along in a three-wheeler across Pune.

Goodbye,Hero.

2006-09-11T00:07:00.001+05:30

As the number of people in this world who can actually inspire others keeps going down; i'm beginning to wonder wether the cliched term of "no hope for humanity" actually morphs itself into something more twisted and dark. What if we begin to accept the perennial problems of poverty,hunger,falling health standards and lack of primary education and become the tyrrants we all were a few centuries back? A reversal to the Dark Ages of sorts. Likely.
But until then, i'd like to pay my last respects to the man who kinda reduced my anger on his home nation whenever they badly humiliated our cricket team. Steve Irwin.Croc Hunter.Bio-Conservationist.Hero. If he wasnt around, we(especially me) would've forever had the impression of reptiles as nothing but slimy,disgusting creatures who mutated into giant dinosaur-like things at the slightest dose of nuclear radiation. I'm willing to bet that half the species of animals are still only on the verge of extinction because of him. They would have crossed that line long ago if it hadnt been for him.So thank you Steve for showing us that the world needs to be shared; not divided.Good on ya,mate.

2006-09-05T20:28:00.000+05:30

There are idiots. There's Pramod. And then there is THE VATICAN.

Viva Madras

2006-09-03T18:31:00.000+05:30

Ok...this is coming waaaaaayy too late.....but i had to do it. Especially since i've run out of topics to blog about. Actually i had to do it because of my undying love for this city despite its crap administration. Now that i think of it, which city in India has administration that isnt crap?? Score again to Chennai. LOL.

I still havent found out the reason why i hated leaving this city SO much. I mean, sure, my school was great, but it was only the presence of Sreekar,Bhavjot,Ganesh,Vinod and Jeshanth that made it great. I sure as hell would've hated it had it not been for their periodic lunacy. Otherwise, SBOA still has to get over its fascination with exams every second week. I hate the way how everything is politicized and how people refuse to be cosmopolitian. Nope, still havent figured out why i love this city so much. I'll probably blog again when i find out. Until then, may the dosa be as crisp and Pramod, continue to be the idiot that he is.

Glory,Glory United.

2006-08-21T13:03:00.000+05:30

Come on you reds, come on you reds,
Jus keep your bottles, dont lose your heads;
In ninety minutes, we'll let them know,
Whose MAN UNITED!! HERE WE GO!!!

2006-08-18T09:15:00.000+05:30

You may have won the battle Ganesh; but the war is yet to come.And stop laughing.

I'm Indian,therefore I am.

2006-08-15T21:43:00.000+05:30

Ok, there've been a few post I've made earlier for which I'm kinda embarassed. I totally took advantage of my current situation and failed to realise my true duty. So in this post, there wont be the usual cynicsm,wise-cracks and sarcasm. Instead, I'll try to be a little serious(OMG!).

When Pt. Jawaharlal Nehru made his famous “tryst with destiny speech”,on that fateful day(14th August) at the Constituent Assembly he would’ve had an idea about how a generation 60 yrs down the line would remember Independence Day. And I don’t think commercialization and fancy gimmicks would’ve been a part of that idea. In fact, instead of just remembering your country for 24 hrs a year, he would’ve imagined us to carry and celebrate the spirit and essence of freedom day and year-long.

Thankfully, he’ll never see us today. Spirit? Do we really wear our hearts on our sleeves everyday? Why do so many of us head for foreign lands in search of “higher studies” when we have the finest educational institutes here? Is supporting our cricket team on all match-days; patriotism enough? Essence of Freedom? How many of us stand up for our rights and speak against evils when they show their ugly face right in front of our very eyes?

Independence Day should serve not as a reminder; but as a day which only adds more vigorousness to our fight against a corrupt system, against our vanishing ideals, against our fading identity. We should remember the sacrifices, which our freedom fighters had so heroically made, in every passing second. The social reforms which almost cleansed an India infected with many a evil should act as great sources of inspiration to cleanse ourselves of modern-day evils. Independence Day should be significant in the sense that the world notices, by each passing year, how great a nation we’ve become and shudders to think how many more landmarks we’ll achieve, overtaking it in the process.
Shashi Tharoor once famously remarked “"India is not, as people keep calling it, an underdeveloped country, but rather, in the context of its history and cultural heritage, a highly developed one in an advanced state of decay." Well, he’s likely to become the foremost ambassador of peace in a few months time. Lets all show him that we can indeed reverse the decaying process. Jai Hind.

UPDATE: He lost out to that Korean bastard Ban-Ki-Moon;keeping intact the long-cherished tradition of UN secretary generals having outrageous names.Remember Dag Ham-WTF?? or Boutros Boutros-I'm a broken record player?

2006-08-12T17:08:00.000+05:30

Because of my continued persistence and the fact that there's an impending Al-Quaeda attack(If anyone from Interpol or the NSA'S reading this, believe me, if there really is an attack, I have nothing to do with it. This blog was just written off from the back of my head.), the people at Ramaiah have decided to give us 4 days off. And tomorrow begins my renewed quest for a Wimbledon title. After a year and a half, I've finally found a place to play in this god-forsaken city. Even if the standards here are half as good as they were in Chennai,I'd be really impressed.

Sania Who???

2006-08-07T20:59:00.000+05:30

Okay, I was just going through some blogs when i happened to stumble upon this absolute BOMBSHELL!

The guy who wrote the blog has NO idea who she is; neither do I. But I sure as hell wanna!

UPDATE: Turned out that this chick's some telugu actress and these are shots from some telugu movie. So much for my mixed doubles plans.

Achtung,Baby!

2006-08-07T12:40:00.000+05:30

The agreement between General Motors and the Maharashtra State govt. on the setting up of a plant near Aurangabad, sent me hurling into those corners of my temporal lobe which contain some of the most intense memories that I have. My preparation for my worthless 10th cbse exams were a part of it. In our English papers leading up to our boards, we were always asked to write about the traffic scenario in the country.And all those who didnt mention "multi-storeyed parking lots" in their essays; had their work vehemently ridiculed. I, for one, never failed to mention it; but never actually grasped the whole idea behind it. I mean, I had seen parking lots in malls and the one in Heathrow, London really stands out. But we, in India, sure as hell dont have a clue as to how these things actually looked like in public places. Then I thought about the Germans and how efficient they were. Wether it came to organising the World Cup or the way Heidi Klum made her way into supermodel-superstardom. A few days later, I stumbled upon this piece of beauty in Germany. No questions asked. None at all.

2006-08-03T00:06:00.000+05:30

I've really been giving this a good,hard thought. And I've concluded that this country indeed has no future. The Government Of India for reasons known only to their own twisted minds have decided to amend the Right To Information Act. The only tool with which I was planning to save this country has been dented and the kind of crap that Priya Ranjan Dasmunsi's offering makes me wonder wether I should go back to thinking about going to Georgia Tech with its sprawling campus with its 3000 sq feet gym,food-court and dorms; instead of IIT Madras' Alaknanda Hostel.

UPDATE: The amendments may have been dropped, but the scars still burn.

2006-07-26T21:01:00.000+05:30

To
Pope Benedict XVI or whomever it may concern in the Vatican,

These are the findings of a recent survey--

- 51% of HP readers, aged 5-17, say they had not read before for fun

65% say they're now doing better in school as a result of their newfound interest in reading- More boys than girls read the books (57% vs. 51%)

62% of boys felt it important to read the books to feel "in" with their friends while only 44% of girls felt the same

-Almost 60% of 9 to 11-year-olds have read the books; 70% are interested in re-reading them

-63% of 12 to 14-year-olds have read the books; 69% are interested in re-reading them

57% of 15 to 17-year-olds have read the books; 60% are interested in re-reading them

I hope you've realised that your attempts to ban the Harry Potter series were,are and are going to be futile as HP has woken up a whole generation to reading.

Yours Sincerely,
Equus Bucephalus
Head
Department Of Replies-to-nonsensical-stuff
Ministry Of Magic

Urban Legends

2006-07-23T22:11:00.000+05:30

The Bogeyman.Nessie.The Abominable Snowman. Urban legends which have caught human imagination so wildly that I've dedicated a blog to them. One such intriguing legend is something which has been around for a while; yet few have heard about it.
It follows thus. Neil Armstrong, after his prancing about the moon, made a funny remark before he got back onto The Eagle-"Good Luck, Mr. Gorsky."
WTF??? After "A small step for me.......mankind",this cryptic reference to some Russian cosmonaut was not quite what you'd call historical. Several queries have been made about the identity of the person. Finally, after 26 years of dogged pursuit, he revealed the following story.
Once, young Neil Armstrong was playing baseball with his friend in his backyard. After his friend hit a fly ball,which fell near his neighbour's house, Armstrong went to fetch it. His neighbours were called The Gorskys. He heard Mrs. Gorsky shouting at her husband.."Oral Sex?!! You want Oral Sex?!!?? You can have it when the kid next door walks on the moon!"
Talk about forecast. Like many of its fellow legends, this turned out too good to be true. Apparently it was some racist joker's idea of a crack.....on jews. It almost worked too. Imagine the list--
Adolf Hitler, Eric Cartman........Neil Armstrong??

Salaam Bombay

2006-07-13T09:40:00.000+05:30

183 dead.714 injured. You'd expect a disillusioned city. But the way the whole of Mumbai stood up and calmly carried on with their lives;is a testimonial to the unbreakable spirit of this city. I'm sure whoever did this is kicking himself now. They could bruise the Mumbaikar's body; but not his spirit. And to all those bastards at Reader's Digest--Why dont you all take that "Most Polite City Poll" of yours and shove it up your asses?....A few weeks ago, Mumbai finished last in a survey to find out which city was THE most polite in the world. The parameters of the survey were--"Picking up papers, Holding out the door and how often supermarket employees smiled".
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU JUDGE A CITY'S POLITENESS ON THESE GROUNDS? To make matters worse, New York was awarded first place followed by London. I'd like to see how many people in these cities come out and use the local public system a day after it was bombed. I'd also like to know how many people would actually pick up corpses whose body-parts were reduced to pulp. I'd REALLY love to know how many of them would carry injured people and admit them to nearby hospitals even though they dont have the faintest idea about the identity of the person.Politeness??? This city is downright selfless on all humanitarian grounds. Its been a while since i left Mumbai...but I could still hear the immortal lines of Raj Kapoor....."Zaraa hatke, zaraa bachke, yeh hai Mumbai, meri jaan......"

Vectors,Vodka and violent Head-Butts

2006-07-10T15:39:00.000+05:30

Ever had a day when everything you do or watch feels like its never happened before? I mean, when things come straight out of the blue and hit you in the face so badly that you're left panting. When you know, by all means, that you can never,in your whole life,possibly do such things. It started off with me doing my first test at Ramaiah quite well. Shock no. 2- As soon as I returned, I dropped my bag, and headed for my Physics book. I didnt put it down for the nxt 9 and a half hours. Somebody save me. Quick. Maybe all the brainwashing rumors i heard that take place in Ramaiah are kickin in. My mother, after using her persuation skills to good effect, convinced me to attend a party tonight with some friends. Bunch of second cousins whom i didnt even know. I had this drink called "Deep Blue"--reminiscent of the famous computer, my mind kicked into high gear. The song the DJ was playing was "Say Na Say Na" from Bluffmaster. The next thing i knew, i was on the dance floor, with all my cousins; doing some frivolous moves. The last time i danced was 8 years ago. In Bombay. That bastard at the bar must've mixed somethin in my drink. After Greece winning Euro 2004, this has got to be THE most dumbest thing that has ever happened in the history of human evolution.

Speaking of footbal; Mazzerati was involved in two heading incidents which won Italy the World Cup. One was a cracking strike which levelled the scores within 20 minutes. The other went straight into his ribs. Zinedine Zidane, ever the hero, showed the world that there is a VERY thin line between genius and insanity.A sad end to a great career. In the frenzy of the world cup, everyone forgot that Roger Federer kicked ass at Wimbledon.Again.Payback Time--exemplified.

Calypso and the Wall

2006-07-04T10:00:00.000+05:30

Its happened. After 35 years; they've done it. A win on West-Indian soil and an event which could prove to be that little push which'll make all the dominos tumble(I'm referrin to further test wins). The Wall stands tall. Again. I'm just gald that 19 years ago, when he had to make a choice between Cricket and Hockey, he chose the former. Coz Indian hockey is in the pits anyway; and I shudder to think of what would've happend to our Cricket team!

A Time For Friends

2006-07-03T00:16:00.000+05:30

Whew! An eventful day if there ever wuz one. After 7 LLLLOOOOONNNGGG years, i finally caught up with Apeksha and Pratiksha. Apeksha has still got the face she had when she was 12 and Pratiksha has changed quite a bit. Both of them though, were as cheery and as fun as they were, when we used to spend those lovely days back in Bombay; along with Akshay, Reet, Tanya,Saurav,Sonali and god-knows who else. Went out for dinner with their family and got updated on where everyone else was and what they were upto.

I'm probably one of the first few on the planet who's watched Superman Returns on an I-MAX screen. After Anush bailed out, I had to call in Bunny and Dinny(nope, they're not stars of broadway), my cuzins who are forever lost on their anime world. The movie rocked. With breathtaking action sequences and a good story, it might just become THE best Superman movie ever. But they deviated quite a bit from the comic; which i absolutely hate.

David Beckham finally removes the arm-band. After 5 and a half years of inspirational leadership,which quite sadly didnt hold in the last the few months; the mantle of England Captain will be transferred to somebody else. Hopefully, that "somebody" will be Steven Gerrard. He virtually personifies INSPIRATION. So i really hope that the next time i catch up with old friends; it wont be when England have lost their captain and the best chance they had of winning the World Cup finals in 40 years.

Koteshwar Rao

2006-06-30T09:45:00.000+05:30

Today's Math class with Koteshwar Rao was the best. Like he does these days, he told us how the ancient mathematicians struggled without co-ordinate geometry and how we should ignore the shit, which Socrates,"the father of Science" wrote. He also de-coded the actual meaning behind the prefaces of all Maths books. All the crap about "Step-by-step approach, method- orientation,thorough analysis" is actually a secret message to the Indian students which says "Boil in hell u morons, just like i did!" Weird.

Cant wait till kick-off tomorrow. Every match is a spectacle. If the refeering standards in the past few matched are anything to go by, I wont be too amazed if they turn out into full-fledged fist-fights.

Season's Greetings!

2006-06-26T20:05:00.000+05:30

Its been a rough day at the World Cup. Portugal and The Netherlands,after noticing the fact that this World Cup has been so well-behaved to the point of puking, decided to introduce some action. The fact that the referee was blind helped their cause.I've never, in my whole life,seen so many cards given out. Guess he decided that christmas came 6 months early. Maniche, ever the scourge of Holland, made sure that he made it to the People-to-be-killed list of another thousand Dutch fans. David Beckham scores a wonder goal which covers up another lacklustre performance by England. Frank Lampard, with the kind of form he's in, doesnt look like he's gonna score within 2 feet of the goalpost. What about Cricket? You ask. Forget it; I say.

2006-06-25T01:59:00.000+05:30

My "rich" NRI cousin turned out to be a 9 year old who found the age-old Indian tradition of touching elders' feet to be highly amusing. He just wouldnt stop. Nice kid though; and nice party.
I had an intriguing conversation with my second cousin,Anush, on the topic which has half the reading population in a frenzy--Dumbledore--Dead Or Alive?.It was the first time I actually enjoyed a family get-together.

We had Ramaiah early in the morning today,for some unknown reason. So i woke up at 5-30 in the morning and made my way to the institute;wary of Madhusudhan Rao's spies along the road; of whom i was thankfully told about by Anush. Koteshwar Rao came an hour late and it made me seriously wonder whether this was the very institute which caned students for coming late.

India have managed to claw their way back in the 3rd test in St. Kitts. After denying Chanderpaul his SIXTH century against us; we seem to have finally stabilised things. Wasim Jaffer looks in good touch. Germany have eliminated Sweden after a goal rush by Podolski in the first 13 minutes. Argentina and Mexico are playing what looks like a classic. The game is in its 93rd minute right now and I really hope; for Germany's sake, that it goes into penalties.

2006-06-24T08:50:00.000+05:30

The overcast conditions outside seem to reflect my life. Boring, uninteresting and tired. We were told that the directors of IIT are deciding on a new syllabus which'll take atleast another two months. So until then, we'll pretty much be learning the basics all over again.Oh Yeah, i'm absolutely thrilled to bits.

The West-indies, riding on their luck, are beating the crap out of us. Chris Gayle, before getting knocked over(lol) by a beauty, made experienced chaps like Kumble look like club-cricketers.
Daren Ganga, of all people, has now made his 3rd century against us. Things could, in no way, become worse.

I'll be going to a party hosted by some rich NRI cousin of mine; later tonight. I'm beginning to lose count of how many cousins i have abroad. Now that i think of it, i dont even think i know the guy's name. Talk about long distance.

2006-06-23T11:10:00.000+05:30

Nothing exciting happened today,that is,if you don't count Koteshwar Rao firing a guy for not knowing logs. This guy called Subba Rao,the biggest moron in my class, has been getting scoldings for the past four days. Even by Ramaiah standards, thats pretty lame.

Ghana are ruling the roost in the World Cup. After kickng the USA's ass,they look like they can cause a few stirs in the knockout stages. After what seemed like a million years, the 3rd test at St. Kitts starts. Only to be delayed by rain. I'm really beginning to wonder if we've gone there just to prove that the rain-gods are ALWAYS against us; no matter where we play.

Sleepy Heads,Stevie G and the blasted Swedes

2006-06-22T08:54:00.000+05:30

Surprisingly, the whole of today has had something or the other to do with that suspended state of bliss which we all metaphorically refer to as "sleep". For starters, the English defence was sleeping when Henrik Larsson sneaked past them and saved Sweden the blushes.
Before which,of course, Joe Cole scored an outrageous goal; which could have earned him a knighthood if England had won. Steven Gerrard,who in my opinion is the greatest footballer to have ever been born, once again put to rest all the comments questioning the validity of the term - COMETH THE HOUR. COMETH THE MAN.

Slumber was prominent in Ramaiah too. Two guys were sent home for sleeping in class. What i cant understand is that if these guys felt sleepy at six in the evening, WTF would they have done in the morning batch??? To further compound the irony, the guys were sitting right next to each other and sleeping; which made me realise that things arent always as they seem.Maybe the people at Ramaiah should too.

The Forbidden Forest

2006-06-20T20:40:00.000+05:30

Koteshwar Rao,our maths teacher at Ramaiah, kinda explained our current plight to us today. He told us about this guy who wanders throughout the day; passing lions,tigers,elephants,birds etc. by. At the end of the day,when someone tells him that he was wandering in a forest,he gets surprised. Freaky. But, overall the class was fun. We solved one iit problem in 5 ways.

In other news, Spain recover from what would've been yet another sequel to their horror shows in World Cups. Raul, KING of Real Madrid shows that he's still got class; and Fernanado Torres is easily THE next big thing in Spanish football.As i write this blog, Germany are kicking the shit out of Ecuador; with Miroslav Klose,not Ronaldo, threatening to break Gerd Muller's record.England are scheduled to play later tonight with only god knowing what's in Erikkson's twisted mind. I mean, Ashley Cole as attacking left-back? WTF???!!!

2006-06-18T14:23:00.000+05:30

OK......to kick off my first blog, i'd like to talk about an event which brings together 12000 students. An event whose media coverage is bettered only by Mahendra Singh Dhoni.Yes, as Hyderabadis would've already realised what i'm talking about, it is the entrance exam to the IIT study circle better known as Ramaiah's Institute.So on the morning of 16th April,to my utter shock and disbelief, i found myself sitting in a hall full students who would give Dexter a complex.I'm willing to bet that i was the only one wearing jeans and a t-shirt that day. So, after 3 hours of Maths,Physics and Chemistry,i came out wondering wether i would get in. Not that i wanted to. I actually wanted to return to my beloved SBOA School in Chennai which i so desparingly left after my 9th standard.Now the events which unfolded in the evening of 8th of May caught me completely unawares. I wuz napping,tired from my tour of South India.Thats when my mum woke me up. In my drowsy state i couldnt make out her words. She said something about me getting admission into Ramaiah. Ofcourse i didnt believe it. But after 3 hours of my dad assuring me that this was not a scam,i gave in. I made it..out of 12000 students.But do i really want this? It was,supposedly,the best place for IIT coaching in the country. I decided to give it a go.So on 12th June 2006,at 5 in the evening, i found myself seated in NERD-CENTRAL. The sight was shocking. Kids who had given up a good portion of their childhood for this place were all around me. I wondered if i had screwed my so-called "definitive years"; because i was more used to being around a cooler lot. But after a week of Ramaiah, i realised that it wasnt all that bad.We werent being flogged,neither were we continually being reminded that the very purpose of our existence was IIT. The teaching is brilliant. And to my relief,there were a few cool guys. So my future blogs will be full of anecdotes from my two "definitive years". They better be.